Global Warming Is a Myth NWC
Once upon a time there was a thing called “Global Warming” which was sometimes called Climate Change, which was sometimes called a “Fraud” or Lie or Phony or Something by people who didn’t believe global areas were warming or the climate was really changing. Some people who lived in Pakistan near the Indus River or Something had never really heard of Global Warming since their I Phones didn’t speak English, but I think they became a pretty good example of how the “Whole World” was flooded in the days of Noah who himself never heard his I Phone speak in English either because it looks like he lived at a time when everyone spoke some kind of “worldwide” language that was spoken everywhere before the “Almighty”, as He is sometimes called, got upset at Man when Man built a big tower at a place called Babel where leaders kept everyone informed by reciting the universal tax code and rules on jaywalking or something.
The point here of course is that just like warm monsoon rains arrived in the Himalayas north of Pakistan in 2022, and melted the remains of glaciers that may have been melting since the last Ice Age, and whose flooding waters melted folks’ mud-brick houses over a third or quarter or something of their whole country of Pakistan…. Yea, just like monsoon rains melted mud-brick houses, so maybe monsoon rains toward the end or middle or something of the Last Ice Age that had reached its end maybe ten or eleven thousand years ago…. Yea, it looks (to me at least) like monsoon rains and other things that happened toward the end of that last Ice Age some 15,000 years ago may have melted the remnants of Ice Age Glaciers in the Himalayas and a place called “The Mountains of Ararat” and maybe some other places, and flooded rivers in an area downhill and downstream of the Himalayas where Man, or “Mankind” if you prefer, lived with Woman, or “Womankind” if you prefer, since they didn’t generally live in places covered with glaciers. This could I think be the source of the story, or even the history, of Noah’s flood.
Anyway, toward the end of World War I, Milutin Milankovitch who didn’t get along real well with the Red or White Russians ended up in jail with a pencil and piece of paper and lots of time on his hands. And being a typical nerdy mathematician, after he got bored playing Tic Tack Toe he played with some numbers describing how the tilt of the earth’s axis might affect the earth’s climate, and how the elliptical nature of the earth’s orbit around the sun as described by a guy named Johannes Kepler about three hundred years before that, in the year 1609, might affect the temperature of the earth all over the world.
(Johannes Kepler had said the earth’s orbit was “elliptical” and did not move in a perfect circle as it went around the sun, which got some religious teachers and theologians to file complaints against Johannes Kepler because they claimed God was perfect, so He certainly would have made the earth go around the sun in a perfect circle, which we might think makes some sense.)
So Johannes Kepler double-checked his numbers which kept saying the sun did not make a perfect circle as it traveled around the sun, which got Kepler declared a heretic by folks who believed that God was perfect, so must have made the earth go round the sun in a perfect circle.
(People also may have thought Kepler was a heretic because he thought God let the earth wobble on its axis, and didn’t keep the earth perfectly straight up and down, and we should expect that a perfect God was perfectly able to keep the earth perfectly straight up and down all the time.)
Later, folks with smart PHDs like Bertrand Russell and Timothy Leary double-checked Kepler’s numbers and figured they must be correct, and thought the religious guys’ numbers didn’t add up real perfect, so they decided they didn’t believe in a perfect God anymore. And like, Wow! They may have felt it perfectly appropriate to pursue a life of drugs and free love, and say: “Who cares about people in Pakistan who live in mud-brick houses?” Sometimes they may have quoted Susanne Barr who, just like the famous talk show guy Rush Limbaugh, said something along the lines of: “Who cares; I am rich”, which might have made them both real happy although one person I know said, “Most folks don’t know what makes them happy.”
(I don’t know what Richard Cory said, but then it is questionable that Richard Corey ever lived.)
Of course I kinda’ doubt folks in Pakistan who found their mud brick homes washed away in the year 2022 were all that happy living without their mud brick homes in the mudflats like other folks in South Asia a couple years before, in the year 2020, but we can certainly hope the Barr Lady is happy with all her money and maybe a vacation home in once beautiful Colorado where deer and buffalo used to roam, or maybe she vacations on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
Hey, I’m not certain Rosanne Barr said “who cares” about folks whose homes washed away, but she certainly implied “who cares” about something when she added the wise saying: “I am rich”.
Anyway, just like Rosanne Barr became rich by talking funny, and saying sometimes funny things, JP Morgan and a guy named Rockefeller and some other oilmen became rich, sometimes by investing lots of money to drill holes in the ground looking for oil. These holes in the ground – called “oil-wells” when they found oil – sometimes cost a million dollars to drill, and these investors, these “oilmen”, protected any information they gained drilling their million dollar holes so they would know where to drill their next hole looking for more oil, and kept their information secret so they would be able to outbid their competitors when they bid on how many millions to pay for new places to drill for oil, looking for oil in the Gulf of Mexico or on the North Slope of Alaska.
Anyway, these Oilmen, being good businessmen, checked the weather since hurricanes could really complicate drilling for oil in the Gulf of Mexico, and warming weather in the Arctic could complicate things if their oil rigs sank into melting permafrost.
So they spent more millions of dollars investigating weather and weather patterns, and even the possibility the climate could change and complicate things.
At first they were mostly worried that Arctic Areas might get colder since they had read about Milutin Milankovich in their WEEKLY READER in elementary school when they were kids, and Milutin Milankovich had said his calculations discovered something called the “Milankovich Cycle” by teachers who taught at Oxford or the University of Paris on the left bank of the Seine, that said we should be entering the beginnings of another Ice Age pretty soon.
So the Oilmen spent more millions of dollars to figure out what was going on, and learned there were other variables that seemed to be making the earth warmer instead of colder.
They learned that, yup, just like Milutin Milankovich figured out, the orbit of the earth was taking earth further from the Sun during certain times, and the earth wobbling on its axis was starting to keep the northern hemisphere tilted from the sun in a way that generally causes glaciers to build up every 100,000 years or so. But! All the coal and oil burning to keep cars and televisions running was adding co2 (carbon dioxide) and other stuff to the atmosphere, so believe it or not, the earth was burning through the beginnings of another Ice Age, and earth’s temperature was actually warming up a bit!
These oilmen figured this could cause some real problems since areas that got real hot might need more air conditioners, and the oilmen’s oil rigs up in the Arctic might tilt as the permafrost beneath them melted into mud.
But of course there was an upside as well. Folks had worried that farmers in Canada might not be able to grow winter wheat if the Melankovich Cycle caused the climate to get just a couple degrees cooler, like Milankovich had worried with his Milankovich Cycle, but if the average temperature began rising in Canada, folks there might soon be growing Georgia Peaches or Something.
Well, Georgia Peaches may be a bit out of reach, but things started warming up in Canada, and ice started melting in the Arctic Ocean, and Russia started building 50 nuclear-powered ice breakers to clear any remaining ice so they could drill holes all over Northern Siberia looking for oil and natural gas, and rent their icebreakers to Chinese shippers shipping stuff to Belgium through the Arctic Ocean north of Siberia.
Okay, okay! There was a downside as well since kids in Bangladesh might need to take swimming lessons since their country would start disappearing under water, and drowning in water is the main way little kids drown in Bangladesh. And folks in Bangladesh might need to borrow money to move any mud brick homes that might dissolve like they dissolved in the land of Pakistan in the year 2022 when something like a third of the land area of Pakistan flooded when that big typhoon melted ice in the Himalayas that had been left over from the last Ice Age, and made everyone in the Christian West feel real bad since Jesus, who some of them said they respected a lot, said to “Treat others like you would want to be treated”, and most of us in the West wouldn’t want our houses washed away in a big flood, so we wouldn’t want to do things that made folks’ houses in Pakistan disappear in a flood.
So we listened to Bill Gates who suggested we hire his friends Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos to take little pieces of aluminum or something into an orbit to block the sun, which made oilmen real happy since if a way was discovered to block the sun, they could keep selling oil to everyone until America had used up all its oil reserves in America, and – in the name of “national security” – America’s military would have to defend the oilmen’s interests all around the world. This idea was named “use ours first” policy by government insiders and other important people.
Of course Bill Gates was not the first original thinker in America: In about the year 1979 one construction lineman I knew in Alaska who read a lot during the winter months when most construction jobs had shut down, had been reading stuff in Scientific American about how we might expect a thing called “global warming” to raise earth’s global temperature a bit as we threw more carbon dioxide and other stuff into the atmosphere.
Hearing of this, “Dirty Dave”, like another can-do construction worker who claimed we could certainly complete one job working through the winter “if it takes every nickel Uncle Sam has”, said he had a solution to global warming. Dirty Dave said: “We’ll build power lines until we blot out the sun”, which reminds me of an oil company’s sales pitch for building little CO2 collectors all over the place, then pumping that CO2 back into the ground.
Anyway, all I am saying is that Scientific American and other smart people like Dirty Dave seemed to think there was a possibility the earth could get warmer way back in 1979!
And I, having moved to Alaska, noticed that Scientific American predicted that any global warming of the earth should be more obvious in places like Alaska where much of our temperature is derived from residual heat sneaking up from hot places down south as opposed to the direct sunlight heating the temperature in places near the equator. And I remembered all that, when some years later Portage Glacier started melting, and disappeared around a dogleg in Portage Lake which is near where I live, and my old diesel pickup started starting in the winter, and stuff like that.
As I may have said, there was an upside to global warming since, several decades after 1979, my 7.3 liter diesel truck tended to start if left overnight on the road near my cabin. It had never started without being “plugged in” to an engine heater at forty below, but it would generally start at zero degrees Fahrenheit. And I understand winter wheat is doing just fine in Alberta and Saskatchewan.
Global Warming has an upside. But then, we always knew that.
As for the downside, maybe we could figure out a way to reincarnate anyone drowned in tropical storms in South Asia in 2020, and rebuild mud-brick houses out of marble for folks whose houses drowned when that big old tropical storm melted glaciers in the Himalayas, and melted mud-brick homes in Pakistan when it flooded something like a third of Pakistan back in the year 2022.
I should probably add that information oil companies gained from investing millions of dollars to learn whether the climate was getting warmer is proprietary information just like information on how much oil is at the end of heir million dollar exploratory holes. But should the oil companies warn little Bangladeshi kids to take swimming lessons if they learn floods or rising sea-levels will soon dissolve their homes?
Thought for the day: “Woe to the shepherds who don’t care for the sheep.”